did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
