I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
