turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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