Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
