So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
