I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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