Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There's even glitter on my cock...
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