He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
