WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
