I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
