with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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