After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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