Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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