shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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