i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
