I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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