TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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