omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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