great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
