How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
