Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
