Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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