Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
