i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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