Screwed.edu
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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