just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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