Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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