Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You made out with two different species that night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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