The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
