And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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