You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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