Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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