tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
