i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
