Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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