They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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