What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
