So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
