I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
