i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
