He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She bit a glass in half.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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