plz talk dirty to me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
