This is not my ceiling
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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