i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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