At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
