Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
