All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
