Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
