Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
