what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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