Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize