so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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