I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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