Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
