PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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