Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
