He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
