everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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