The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize